Evaluation.

65%. Grado ko.

SWOT
Strengths - 4
Weaknesses - 9
Opportunities - 3
Threats - 2

Wow. Mas marami pa akong kahinaan kaysa sa aking mga kalakasan.

Karapat dapat ba ako dito?

Baka. Pwede. Siguro. Hindi. Oo.

Magdadalawang taon na din ako sa industriyang aking kinalalagyan.Halos dalawang taon kung saan ay marami na akong mga kasamahang umalis at hinanap kung saan talaga sila nababagay, kung saan sila magtatagumpay. Marami na akong nakilala, maraming nakatawanan at nakakwentuhan.

Masaya sa mundong ginagalawan ko. Ngunit ang hindi alam ng iba ay kung gaano ito kabusisi, kung gaano ito kagulo. Maraming nagiisip na ang mundong ito ay isang glamorosong industriya kung saan ay nakakasalamuha mo ang mga taong ni sa hinagap ay iyo man lang makakausap. Mga taong beterano na sa kani-kanilang propesyon na maaring mong kapulutan ng kaalaman. Kung saan ay nasasabi mo sa mga tao na ito dapat ang iyong bilhin, ito ang mas maganda, ito ang karapat-dapat.

Nagiisip ako, para ba ako dito? O kailangan ko lang lagpasan ang aking sarili para magtagumpay sa larangang ito. Marami pa akong dapat matutunan, at mas marami pa akong dapat matuklasan. Sa ngayon, papakiramdaman ko muna ang hangin, lalabanan ang alon, at magsusumikap.

Mabuti na lamang ay nandiyan ka.

Overtime.

Simula nung lunes ay OT mode kami. Okay naman, nagbubunga naman yung mga pinag-gagagawa namin. Pero di din okay dahil ako naman ang hindi okay. Nawawalan na ako ng lakas, nanghihina na ako, di na ako makapag-trabaho ng maayos. Marami na din akong nami-miss na mga kaganapan kung saan saan. Di na ako nakakagala.

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Nag-overtime na ata talaga ako sa paglalaro, pakiramdam ko ay kailangan ko na mag-seryoso naman kahit papaano. Sabi nga nila, I'm a happy-go-lucky guy, kaladkarin, go on with the flow, pero mahirap din naman na lagi ka na lang ganun, walang seseryoso sa iyo, iisipin na lang nila na game ka lang at walang focus. Impulsive pa ako, moody, transparent, san ka pa?


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isang tanong:


sino pipiliin mo? si persistent lover na gagawin lahat makasama ka? or si hard-to-get one, na gustong-gusto mo pero hindi ka pa niya gustong-gusto?


sino ka sa dalawa? si persistent lover? o si hard-to-get one?

DUI.

Driving along Aurora blvd. under the influence of alcohol and trying to overtake a trailer truck is not a good idea, masyadong malaki ang truck para i-overtake at masyadong maliit ang kalsada para ipagsiksikan ang kotse. That's why you have a driver, to drive you home safely without any mishaps along the way. It is good that you're able to maneuver the car before it hit anything or anyone, although sumabog yung gulong mo at nasira yung mags at kailangan pa ipa-vulcanize ang spare tire somewhere in project 4 at mahirap maghanap ng 24hrs na vulcanizing shop ah.

Hay. Ayaw ko na nga ipilit na mag-drive ng sasakyan, lagi na lang may nangyayaring kabalbalan kapag ako ang nagdadala nun. Parang ayaw sa akin nung kotseng yun, kung hindi ako natitirikan, nawawalan ng andar yung makina, naliligaw, at kung anu-ano pang pangyayaring maari mo nang maisip, parang nangyari na sa akin, and the latest, kamuntik na ako makabangga!

Charge it in experience, but next time, be more cautious while driving and be more aware of anything that's happening around you. Or better yet, don't drive kaya ka nagdala ng driver!

What a lovely way of ending the first month of 2010. Grabe.

Unexpected.

'Di ko na-foresee na mangyayari sa amin yun'

I just have to share this conversation over some gin-pom, datung puti or I don't know what it is called. We are arguing about someone who had a break-up with his girlfriend.

'Kung kami talaga, kami talaga hanggang huli...'

That was what he said, but then again, someone had a 'theory' about this. What he said was, if you think that way, then it is okay for you to play around 'cause in the end, you'll end up to be with her. And it is okay because you are confident enough that she will just understand what you had done wrong.

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Minsan talaga, sa sobrang paniniwala natin sa pagmamahal o kahit sa anumang bagay, di na natin nakikita kung ano ang tama at ano ang mali, ang nakikita natin ay kung ano ang gusto nating gawin sa kasalukuyan at di natin nakikita ang magiging epekto nito sa huli. Ika nga nila, "nasa huli ang pagsisisi", gasgas man na kasabihan ngunit ito pa rin ang sasabihin at sasabihin ng kung sinuman ang nagsisi sa mga bagay-bagay na kanyang nagawa na nila. Magsisi ka man, ay halos wala ka na mgagawa dito, ang maari na lamang ay ito'y buuin uli. Ngunit di na ito magiging katulad ng dati. Mayroon ng 'caution' sa bawat kilos at galaw mo. Di na buo ang pagtitiwala mo sa isang taong minsan ay nagawa kang lokohin o pagtaksilan. Masarap isipin na sa kabila ng kalokohang ginawa mo ay tinanggap ka pang muli na iyong minamahal, ngunit masakit isipin na sa bawat kilos at galaw mo ay may mga matang sumusunod dito upang pagsabihan ka at ipaalala ang anumang sakit na idinulot nito. Para bang bilanggo ka na sa iyong nagawang kulungan. Ang kulungan kung saan bawat kilos at galaw ay minamasid. Na sa bawat kilos mo ay may katumbas na puntos upang matanggap kang muli.

Kung mahal mo ang isang tao, magagawa mo bang magsinungaling at pagtaksilan siya? Magagawa mo bang lahat ng kanyang pagsusumamo ay iyong gagawin? O magagawa mo bang tanggihan ang kung ano mang bagay na kanyang hinahangad at iparating sa kanya na di sa lahat ng panahon ay maari mong makuha ang gusto mo?

Sa laro ba ng pagibig, kailangan ay isang team kayo upang mabuo ang isang stratehiya kung saan kayo ay magwawagi? O ang kailangan mo ay ang isang taong naniniwala sa iyong  kakayahan?

Time.

How come you don't make time for me anymore
That's the last thing she said to you
And now when you call she don't answer anymore
Or the line is busy and you can't get through

Time (Ne-Yo)

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Can we just buy some time to finish what has to be done?

Or we just have to let it pass through and deal with it?

And isn't it unfair for the one who is battling with time?

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Kung pwede lang naman talagang bilin ang oras, ginawa ko na, kahit mamumulubi na ako.
Pero hindi eh, kaya kailangan kong harapin ang magiging resulta nito.

Hanging on.

Sa papalapit na pagpapalit ng taon, maraming mga bagay ang akin pang kinakapitan, kailangan ko na yata itong hayaan na at magsimula ng panibagong paglalakbay. Isang taong puno ng saya, ng lungkot, ng kabiguan, at ng kasiyahan.

Sa totoo lang, di ko alam kung paano sisimulan ang bagong taon, kung gayong iba ang takbo ng aking buhay sa ngayon. Naguguluhan ako, gusto ko nang kumawala, gusto ko na maghanap ng panibagong buhay. Sana nga, masimulan ko ang bagong taon na may bagong pagasa at may bagong pananaw sa buhay.

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Happy.

So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear myself
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah


-Happy (Leona Lewis)

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It is just weird. I'm happy and at the same time, I'm not. It is as if I am searching for something much better. How could I obtain genuine happiness when I can't really tell who I am?
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Freedom. Once I asked a soul card reader, would I pursue what I am planning next year, and that to study another course. And the card's answer to me was FREEDOM. I have the freedom whether to risk it or not, 'cause it would be another 3 or maybe 4 years of college life. I have to weigh in the pros and cons of having to study again (and being almost dependent again)
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Release. I can't think of any questions to ask, but she just suggested 'what would make me happy?' And as I point and choose the card, it turned out to be RELEASE. Release anything that is bothering me, release any negative emotions that I have inside, release what is needed to be released. With that, I was left dumbfounded on what the card is telling me, should I tell my secrets? Or maybe, explode, in the sense that I need to release every angst, tension, anger, everything that I want to shout out loud.

I can't tell anyone, well except for this blog, as I have trust issues, I just can't tell everyone of my secrets, I want to assure that who ever I was relaying my secrets to, will be able to keep it as long as s/he could. That's how mistrustful I am.
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I just want to be happy, I really don't know, it is as if I am in constant search of what happiness means.

Counteract.

"When I go and see my high school friends, it seems like they are all living in a dream that would never end..Always living the life of a college student all wild and free like a stallion in the open range..

You party, you get high, you get drunk, and you hang out with friends and talk about all the stupid things that alcohol can give you.."

The Loser Diary Part One-anonymous.

We do have our own responsibilities to take and manage, and it is up to us on how we will be able to handle it. Yang mga stupid things na yan, diyan mo nakikilala kung sino talaga ang sinasamahan mo, kung sino talaga ang taong kausap mo, at kung sino ka talaga. We are all living in a dream, following it, pursuing it, it is a never-ending adventure all of us take. We have to risk something in our life to be able to experience it and learn from it.

Isa lang masasabi ko, he's living an uber boring life. Party is not just alcohol, sex and drugs, party means having FUN.

 "In things pertaining to enthusiasm, no man is sane who does not know how to be insane on proper occasions." -- Henry Ward Beecher 1837-1887